Book Review: The Happiest Toddler on the Block

Author: Dr. Harvey Karp
ISBN: 0553384422
Publisher: Bantam
Format: Paperback
Published: August 2008
No. of pages: 336 pages
Available for loan from: National Library Board (www.pl.sg)
Price: S$22.17 (www.opentrolley.com)
Suitable for: Parents of 8 – 36 months old
Verdict: Recommended (3.5 / 5)

The sequel to Dr. Karp’s best-seller, The Happiest Baby on The Block, this book aims to get frazzled parents through the trying terrible two’s and three’s by teaching parents how to boost their child’s good behavior, curb annoying behavior and immediately stop unacceptable actions with a highly effective green light / yellow light / red light method for moulding toddler behaviour. Written in his trademark friendly, humourous and engaging manner, it is easy for parents to digest the information after a long day.

What I loved most are the insights it gave into my toddler’s mind – which make it a worthy read, even if the positive discipline methods don’t work. It explains why toddlers behave as they do and how to help them traverse their pre-historic world to become civilized pre-schoolers. Obviously, I don’t remember what life is like as a toddler and often assume that toddler J is a little adult and treat him as such. However, I found that it only made his tantrums worse when I tried to reason with him during a meltdown, or try to counter his escalating emotions with calm, low-key responses and lengthy explanations. The book helped me to understand that toddlers are far from being rational or logical, much less an adult. I found that he sometimes calmed down more quickly when I used Dr. Karp’s Toddler-ese and ‘Fast-Food Rule’ which is basically talking at your toddler's level when he or she is upset by using and repeating short, simple sentences and mirroring their emotions. This technique enhances the ability of children to label their emotions by providing them with the correct vocabulary. Toddler-ese needs practice and patience. It isn’t easy to master (and is sometimes embarrassing to use in public). I’m certainly no expert, but, it certainly does get easier over time. I don’t use it all the time, usually only when I feel that my normal way of defusing a situation won’t work. I noticed that it defuses potentially tantrum-causing situations. Toddler J sometimes looks at me with a ‘hey, mommy understands me so I don’t have to yell’ expression, calms down and is able to wait till I can attend to him or distracts himself with something else.

The rest of the book has lots of great reminders about how to best communicate with our toddlers so that they feel respected and loved, while we parents get the essential outcomes we need and want to keep our kids safe and our homes sane. While some of his advice is common sense, e.g. clear and consistent limits, Dr Karp gives numerous suggestions on boosting good behavior e.g. patience stretching, so parents can choose to use those they feel most comfortable with. I haven’t used his ‘clap-growl’ method yet – which I find a little too prehistoric! My main grouse is with the book’s layout because it classifies the methods into green light / yellow light / red light, yet not all methods are suitable for younger ones around 1 year old. I would have much preferred the methods to be classified by age instead of having to flip through the book to find them.

About the Author(s)
Dr. Harvey Karp is a nationally renowned pediatrician, child development specialist and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the UCLA School of Medicine. He completed medical school training at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in NYC, pediatric residency at Childrens Hospital of Los Angeles and fellowships in ambulatory pediatrics and child development at UCLA. In pediatric practice, for almost 30 years, Dr. Karp has taught thousands of parents, from working moms to superstars like Madonna, Michelle Pfeiffer and Pierce Brosnan his secrets for soothing colic, boosting infant sleep, reducing tantrums, promoting patience and making parents and children happy.

Book Review: Happiest Baby on the Block

Author: Dr. Harvey Karp
ISBN: 0553381466
Publisher: Bantam
Format: Paperback
Published: May 2003
No. of pages: 288 pages
Available for loan from: National Library Board
Price: S$21.43 (www.opentrolley.com)
Suitable for: Expectant parents,
parents of 0 – 3 months old babies
Verdict: Highly recommended (4 / 5)

This is my favourite book on newborns! A thought-provoking read, Dr. Karp blends modern science and ancient wisdom to prove that newborns are really not ready for the world when they are born. Written in a friendly, fun and engaging manner, I liked the sensible way used to explain the rationales behind the practical solutions that he provides.

Essentially, this book explains why newborns cry (and cry so much) and most importantly, how to soothe them with the simple 5’S approach that trigger the calming reflex (swaddling, side/stomach position, shushing, swinging and sucking). For centuries, parents have tried these methods only to fail because, as with a knee-jerk reflex, the calming reflex only works when it is triggered in exactly the right way. Dr. Karp explains away the age-old myths behind colic, gas and other reasons that have been given for non-stop crying and literally redefines our understanding of the needs of newborns. When first published, this book stunned the medical world (and made parents cheer!) by solving the 3000-year-old mystery of colic with the discovery of the calming reflex – the incredible “off-switch” for infant crying and on switch for baby sleep that can soothe most fussy babies in minutes and add 1-3 hours to a baby’s sleep.

Although I read this book when baby J was 4.5 months old, some of the tricks still worked and above all, helped me understand why he had non-stop crying spells every afternoon (the doctor said it wasn’t colic) and why he would only nap when carried in a sling during those early days. It certainly helped soothe my ‘new mother’ anxieties that I must have somehow gotten something wrong. On the downside, I wished Dr. Karp provided more information about weaning the baby off the 5’S as we are still very much reliant on one of them (sucking).

An accompanying DVD is also available. While I have only seen the excepts on the website (it’s just amazing to watch the screaming infants stop crying almost instantly!), I believe that watching the DVD will be useful in helping one to better understand and visualize the tactics. Certainly, if you are a bleary-eyed, exhausted new parent, watching the DVD will be a much faster solution to yours (and your baby’s) sleep deprivation issues.

Having spoken to many other mothers, it seems that these endless crying spells are a definite with all newborns; so in this regard, this book and DVD is a must-read / must-watch for all expectant and new parents.

About the Author(s)
Dr. Harvey Karp is a nationally renowned pediatrician, child development specialist and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the UCLA School of Medicine. He completed medical school training at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in NYC, pediatric residency at Childrens Hospital of Los Angeles and fellowships in ambulatory pediatrics and child development at UCLA. In pediatric practice, for almost 30 years, Dr. Karp has taught thousands of parents, from working moms to superstars like Madonna, Michelle Pfeiffer and Pierce Brosnan his secrets for soothing colic, boosting infant sleep, reducing tantrums, promoting patience and …making parents and children happy.

Book Review: Baby Led Weaning Helping Your Baby to Love Good Food

Author: Gill Rapley and Tracey Murkett
ISBN: 0091923808
Publisher: Vermillion
Format: Paperback
Published: November 2009
No. of pages: 256 pages
Available for loan from: National Library Board
Price: S$26.64 (www.opentrolley.com)
Suitable for: Anyone who has yet to offer finger foods to their child
Verdict: Highly recommended (4.5 / 5)

I wish I read this before I started weaning my son.

I've heard of Baby Led Weaning (BLW) through friends and on the internet. However, there was a dismal lack of information about how to go about doing it and how to deal with the various situations and comments one will come across. I was unable to get the book until recently when we've been on solids for about 5 months and had stumbled through BLW with many doubts and questions.

After reading this book, most (if not all) of my concerns were answered. I am a lot more confident about BLW, sharing it with my friends or when I need support for when Grandma is horrified. This is certainly a good read for parents who think that feeding a baby means jars and purees. Even if one chooses not to use BLW, this book contains useful general information on topics such as nutrition, portion sizes and feeding.

The photographs included in the book are a cute diversion and gives one an insight into BLW in action. What was missing are recipes that can be used for BLW once baby progresses beyond the beginner's steamed vegetable sticks, cut fruit and toast soldiers. If you're looking for recipes for "baby" food, tables of what food to introduce at what age, or detailed lists of foods to avoid, you won't find them here. This is just a reassuring introduction to the idea of simply feeding your baby from your own healthy meals.

About the Author(s)
Gill Rapley has studied infant feeding and child development for many years. She worked as a health visitor for over 20 years and has also been a midwife and a voluntary breastfeeding counsellor. She developed the theory of baby-led weaning while studying babies' developmental readiness for solids as part of her Master's degree. She lives in Kent with her husband and has three grown-up children, all of whom tried their best to show her that they didn't need any help with solid foods.

Tracey Murkett is a freelance writer and journalist. She originally trained as an artist and was deputy editor of Artists and Illustrators magazine until she left to have her baby. After following baby-led weaning with her daughter, she wanted to let other parents know how easy and stress-free mealtimes with babies and young children can be. She lives in London with her partner and their daughter, now aged three.

Baby Led Weaning Helping Your Baby to Love Good Food

Review: Toys-A-Month, Singapore's 1st Subscription-Based Toy Rental Service

We used toy rental services mainly to try out expensive and/or bulky items before deciding if we wanted to purchase for long-term use as we felt that the rents do not always do justice to the cost price of a toy as well as having to deal with the inconvenience of having to collect and return the rented item or pay delivery charges.

However, our interest was piqued when we received an email advertising a subscription-based toy rental service that included free delivery and collection of toys. Baby J was only 6 months old then so we decided to KIV this service. When he was 9 months old, we felt that he was bored with his existing collection of toys but didn’t know which new ones to buy; hence we embarked upon a 3-month trial period with Toys-A-Month.

We signed up for the basic package which provides 3 toy credits per month for $48. That means, that we could have either 3 toys worth 1 credit each, 2 toys worth a combined 3 credits or just 1 large toy worth 3 credits. Furthermore, we could either select the toys by adding them to an online wish list or leave it to Toys-A-Month to propose a selection of toys. Families with more than 1 child will probably find the Silver or Gold packages with 5 and 6 credits respectively a good deal.

Compared to some toy rental companies (which do not operate on a subscription basis), Toys-A-Month’s selection of toys is limited. However, since we joined, we’ve noticed that they’ve added quite a large selection of new toys so we assume that the lack of variety is due to the fact that they are still a fairly new business (which translates to the advantage of having rather new toys!).

Now into our 4th month, we’ve been very pleased with their service and outcome. We don’t know if it’s baby J or us parents who anticipate the new toys more! The toys are always delivered cleaned and in good condition. Where possible, they are shrink wrapped to keep them in their pristine state.

Towards the end of each month, we will receive an email arranging a mutually convenient collection/delivery date and time and the proposed toys for the upcoming exchange. If we prefer to have other toys, Toys-A-Month tries its best to co-ordinate other members’ rental schedules unless the toy has been reserved by someone else. When we did not know what to select, Toys-A-Month will revert with appropriate suggestions. If baby J doesn’t like the toys of the month, we could get an exchange by paying a $15 transportation fee. However, we have never exercised this option as baby J always had at least 2 toys of which at least one will capture his interest for the next 3 to 4 weeks. Thus far, it has also helped us to figure out what types of toys suit baby J’s interests and developmental stage when we would like to buy him something.

Toys-A-Month also responds promptly to feedback. The first delivery coincided with baby J’s nap and the door bell woke him up. Since we informed them, the delivery person has always sent a SMS to inform us that he is on the way so he can find out whether it was convenient to use the door bell. It’s a small matter, but such a gesture means a lot to a mom who struggles with naps almost everyday.

We will certainly continue using this service indefinitely. Even if we could afford to buy every single toy available for baby J, living in land- scarce Singapore where apartments are becoming smaller means that we have to resort to creative toy storage methods. It will also save us the hassle of having to discard or sell toys that baby J has outgrown - and we all know how quickly that happens!!

Toys-A-Month